Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Kiss! The Kiss!

Is it bad luck to post excerpts from a book that's on submission? I hope not because I couldn't help but sharing this scene for Valentines.

Christina at Write-Brained and Stina at Seeing Creative are hosting a Valentine's blogfest focused on...you guessed it, the kiss! Check out the list of participants listed on either of their blogs.

Here is Kate and Jack's first kiss. There's no set-up (because hopefully one day you'll get to read the book and I want you to be surprised when), I figure I'll just let them go at it!

“Don’t worry, it’s okay, Kate. I was joking. You don’t have to look so serious,” he said. “I wondered when you were going to show up.”

My head snapped back up. “You were looking for me?” The words tumbled out before I could stop them.

“Of course I was looking for you. Why do you think I mentioned the party? After all, we have some history. We spent the night together.”

“We did, didn’t we? I wanted to see you here too,” I said quietly, unexpected courage surging in me.

“We did.” His hand found mine and then, the two of us were moving towards each other, and suddenly like the night outside our hotel, talking to Jack became nothing.

The memory of the first time we talked, the cold bench, his warm sweatshirt, the early morning, were erased.

The conversation we had outside the hotel wasn’t important.

The feel of his hand on my back when he had caught me from falling off the wall was just slight pressure, brushed away from memory.

The solidness in his hand when he helped me up from the wall erased.

Because nothing came close, not an inch or an ounce to what it felt like when Jack kissed me.

Smokey breath met sour beer.

Chapped lips met glossy moist.

Exploring curious tongue met smooth white teeth.

Rough firm hands met sweaty moist palms.

Bristly itchy cheek met red-flamed blush.

Jack met Kate.

Kate met Jack.

We broke apart.

We stood still.

23 comments:

salarsenッ said...

Ooh, good stuff! I love the way you dragged out the end. Yup, want more. Book please... Fingers crossed for you.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Great kiss. Good luck with the submission. :D

Meredith said...

I love your writing! And this voice is great. I have to know more about these two!

Kristan said...

What a fun idea! Makes me wish I'd written the kiss scene already. Maybe I can find one in a different manuscript…

Melissa Sarno said...

Very steamy! I like this scene :-)

Matthew Rush said...

'Smokey breath met sour beer,' may be the best line ever. I love it.

Well done Rachele. Happy VD!

Lisa Nowak said...

I love the poetry at the end of this scene.

Kari Marie said...

I loved this excerpt. The lines at the end of the scene are brilliant.

Fellow crusader stopping by to say hello! Have a Happy Valentine's Day

Michael Offutt said...

I think it was good luck that I came across your excerpt. Perhaps the solid writing will rub off on me and I'll write better hehe :) Happy V-Day.

Katie Mills said...

very poetic! Loved this! Thanks for sharing!

Aleeza said...

the contrast...wow! i loveloveloved it :)

Christina Lee said...

Oh Rachelle this brings me back to BETAing it for you. *swoon* Your sentences are so lyrical! GOOD stuff--love it!

Donna Weaver said...

Interesting! All the hints about their past.

Melissa said...

I really hope this gets accepted! I want to read more!

Kristina Fugate said...

Hello fellow Crusader! I love this excerpt! Wonderful writing and I LOVE the ending! *swoon*

Beth said...

Awesome scene and good luck with your submissions. I'm a new follower.
bethfred.com

Dianne K. Salerni said...

Oh, I love it -- love those brief, choppy lines that convey much more than they say. It's better than a blow by blow description -- it leaves so much to our imagination and has so much heart in it. Well done!

Raquel Byrnes said...

That was so lyrical the way you chose to write it. Almost like a poem. I really liked it.
Edge of Your Seat Romance

Elaine AM Smith said...

Flickering images of intimacy.
(but smoke and beer in the same thought?)

Tony Benson said...

Loved it - this is the real world of romance rather than the 'romanticised' version we so often see.

Good to meet you fellow crusader.

VioletHawthorne said...

Mmm. I love this so, so much.

Erin said...

Hey, it's working! I just posted on another because this one wasn't working for some reason. But I would like to say that I really like your writing style and I love how the sentences got shorter toward the end.

Regina said...

Well done. Really nice post. I'm still getting around to all the crusaders. I apologize it is taking so long. Following now. Great work.