Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I Am Such A Tease

I talked about location in my stories yesterday.

I'm going to show you location in my story today.

Here's a little teaser of a paragraph in my new WIP progress focusing on the fields behind my main character's house. This is the field inspired by the one in Japan. You'll see through the passage that this field is a lot different from a field in Japan, but I can hear the echoes of that field in this piece.

Late at night when my house is locked down and the only noise is the furnace kicking on and off, I stare out my window and watch our field.

The freeze of winter has turned our field to ice, the ground a fragile bed of snow that crackles when you step on it, but does not break. The moon shines bright illuminating a world of fresh earth trapped beneath.

I sit and watch the snow blow over our field. Thick foggy wisps like ghost touch down for a brief moment and then swirl up again. It does this dance over and over, rising and falling until it is blown out of my sight, into the parts of the fields where the moon’s light doesn't touch.

I watch the snow and think about Amelia and the way she ran across these fields; smooth and fast so if you squinted, you could almost pretend she was flying.

She let the wind push her faster and faster until she too was picked up and blown away forever into the dark parts of the world you were not allowed to see.


Kristan said...

Beautiful excerpt! I'm also enjoying it because of all the snow we've gotten in Cincinnati, hehe. This is sort of how I feel when I think about the field by our house. :)

(Minus Amelia, of course! Instead of her, I picture my little pup jumping through the snow like a bunny rabbit.)

AchingHope said...

Wow... This was very good! I loved the line "thick foggy wisps like ghosts."